We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
