pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
