He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
