Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
