you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
