dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
