I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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