he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
