they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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