Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
