Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
