I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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