Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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