I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
