being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
