You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
