We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
