I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
