My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
