it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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