Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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