so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
