Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
