As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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