You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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