Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
