I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
