Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
