idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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