man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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