So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
