i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
