happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
