I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
