She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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