areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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