we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
its liver damage thursday
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
