David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
