oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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