Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We left the knife in your bed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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