Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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