I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
