I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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