I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
