Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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