If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
