there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
