He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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