not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
