I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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