he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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