I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
