11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
