Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
