I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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