if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize