PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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