i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The feeling are messing with the penis
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize