Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
