i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
