dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
