Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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